Would FML be to harsh?

well this is going to make me sound like some bloody angsty teen. but here is the thing. the problems we have as teens some times dont go away and some times they properagte them selves in new and exciting fashions.

i guess this post is a venting of my spleen.

i have to say that i find a number of things about my life frustrating. for any of those playing at home, i have been single since March 2006, you do the math. just a few years. (it may actuly be since 2005, i dont care that much either way its a while)

well since then i have asked quite a few girls out, eihter my timing has sucked or i have miss timed it horribly.

well let me phrase some of it this way.

when the dust has settled, and it seems that your life has come crashing down arround you please rember that when its all said and done, that standing, isolated, solitary, watching, waiting, guiding & protecting, i will be there. standing strong, i will be that figure you will look for. i have remained there after all this time, and nothing can move me.

well i know that all seems a bit morbid and a bit self centered, please understand. i find me self at the core of many peoples lives, when their life falls apart, they come to me for support and help. well the problem is that this time, its me. i am watching yet annother friend go and find happyness and joy in simplicity and company. what does that mean for me in the immediate, more time by my self and more solitary. what does it mean for me in the longer term. well if it all works out it means i need to find annother person or people to fill the void left by the departuer of that figure. but in the more likley senario (sorry kids) is that when it does eventuly come to an end, quite often i am left as the person who people come to.

well to be honest i am a bit tired of being in a situation where i am the one who is always told "no, sorry, i am allready dating x" "no, sorry, i like you too much as a friend" "no, sorry, i am not intersted" & just plain and simple "no, sorry" and watching those arround me be smitten, falling for others and finding joy and happyness. i am truly happy for you and i hope you enjoy your time together, but i am allowed to be a bit tired of being on my fortress of solitude. the problem is that many have come to visit, some have even stayed for exteneded periods. but that always comes to an end.  

well thats enough angsty BS from me. i just needed to vent. i will probably actuly write somting meanigful in the next week or so and this will disapeer in to the ether. or it may just provided a insight into a person who people see as being unbreakable, the honest reality after a while even the mightyest rock will crumble.

i hope that i can find the right supports to stop it from happening to me..............